*Sigh* I feel much better now. Pissy still, but better. I needed to blow off all this steam. And then some.

****

Now for the 'some':

Yesterday was Sunday. My dad came over. And everyone knows he only came over 'cause I went to his house first. Fuckin' bastard. Sometimes I can't stand him.

(Oh, great. NOW Mom wants me to get off this thing? Tough, mommy. I just started here.)

Where was I? Oh, yeah. My dad. Ugh. Well, with my sis leaving and everything, my mom and I kept tryin' to get ahold of the fucker so he could at LEAST call and say goodbye to my sis. He kept promising he'd stop by, but of course he never did. Those fuckin' drunk-ass friends of his have always been more important to him than his damn family. Unfortunately, that includes me. Fuck... Why did I have to be related to him?

I don't need him. I really don't. Neither does my sis. We're grown up now: Toty's 20 and I'm 19. We don't need a daddy no more. But she's going off to war, for cryin' out FUCKIN' loud, he could at least pretend to give a shit!

So he finally came to the house... late and all last minute, as usual. I didn't care. And I TOLD Mom to keep her yap shut; why didn't she listen to me? I told her that we'd talk to him about it LATER, that I'D talk to him about it later - I'M the kid, after all. She's just the ex.

But did she listen? Of course not. He walks in with some bread and some fuckin' roast chicken - as if THAT'S really gonna make it better. Yeah, way ta go, Dad. So then mom starts cryin' there in the kitchen. She's seething mad, of course. It's understandable. But it wasn't her place. By the time I knew it, she was off, yakking out poison and bitching at the asshole faster than bullets fly. He just stands there, and takes it. Like he always does. I try to interrupt; I mean, I had already talked it over with her before he got there. "Keep your mouth shut, Mom. I know you're mad. But it's not your place to bitch. Not anymore."

SO WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T SHE LISTEN TO ME?! I swear, she NEVER fuckin' listens to me! What did that outburst gain? Nothing! They just started argueing again, like when sis was 6 and I was 5. BUT I'M FUCKIN' 19 YEARS OLD!!! I don't need her to defend me! All it did was get my asshole of a father in a sour mood, and my sister noticed it when she spoke to him on the phone. She asked me about it; God, I was so fuckin' MAD, but I didn't lie to her. I could never lie to her. So I told her the truth: Dad's being an ass (we had all thought he was changing his ways a few months before my sis was called in, and things had been going rather smoothly until now), and Mom's not helping any. She won't let me talk, won't let me vent. Won't let me tell him that he pisses me off and I've even dreamed of KILLING him! Yeah. With a hatchet. To the head. But that's another story.

The point is, my sis is gone now, off to some Middle Eastern country to do her part. Being female, of course she won't be in the front lines, but it's still risky. I still won't see her for at least another six months. And a SHITLOAD of, well... shit, can happen in 6 months. And the last thing she'll remember about her family will be a bitter arguement. She don't deserve that. She's already got a lot on her mind. Man, this really pisses me off. I just hope she comes home safely. I miss her so bad. People freak out, 'cause I tell them that she's my best friend. They just can't get the idea that two siblings would get along so well. I guess it's because we've been through the same shit together, her and me. We've gone through everything, I think. She even tried to kill me once. No, twice. But that was a long time ago. God, I miss her.