Anyhow, I have less than twenty minutes to update my shit, so here goes:
I just got home from a short and unfruitful trip to Barnes&Noble. Short because it's not too far from my house, unfruitful because the damn place was closed already. Pissers. They're supposed to close at midnight. They do in the bigger cities, at least that's what the Dud said. On the way home, I was pulled over by a cop because I friggin' forgot to turn on my headlights. What an idiot I can be. I was so embarrassed. But the cop was nice. Let me go without even a warning. Just looking out for my safety, he said.

At work, I've been moved to Air Smalls again. That means Zamira double-shifts. She's working in the afternoon now, and I find that annoying too. Well, no, I lie. Zamira's not annoying. But she is getting under my skin. Of all my coworkers, she's probably the only one I considered a friend. Well, long gone are those days. I get the impression she's avoiding me, but she doesn't have the balls to tell me what it is about me that's bothering her. She just huddles over in the corner with Alex, whispering and giggling and completely ignoring me. Well, no, sometimes they whisper about me, so I guess that's not completely ignoring me.

But I mean - what the fuck?! She's whispering about me now? And when I've asked her a question - a direct question, to her face - in these past few days, she'll pretend I didn't say anything, I shit you not. In fact, it's like I don't even exist. I'm not there. If that ain't a cold shoulder, I don't know what is. Thing is, I don't know what I did wrong. In fact, I'm sure I didn't do anything. I've never been anything but courteous to her, and respectful. Because, in all honesty, she's the one coworker I actually respect. I respected the lady, okay? See? I always refer to her as a lady, because that's what she is to me. A true lady. And you don't see many of those around anymore.

But now she's being all weird around me, and I can't shake the feeling that it's becuase she's been hanging and gossiping with Alex way too much. It's no big secret anymore that Alex and I go way back, that we've known each other for over ten years. Alejandra knows a lot of shit about me that no one else knows, aside from family, because the woman's lived with me, for God's sake. And now she's moved out, and she's drifted away. We've lost touch and I quit sniffing after her ass, begging from some attention from her. I was tired of being her friend when she was clearly not mine. So when I finally started treating her just like I do any other coworker, it stung her, I just know it did. And she's one of those vengeful types, Alex is. She knows I care (or used to care) a lot about Zamira, because as a coworker and friend she had earned my respect. I'm a rather saturnine individual, and to be my friend, you've gotta work for it. I'm not into showing affection. I am a Capricorn, after all. But Zamira was always asking me about my family, how they were doing and the such, and she's so friendly and nice that she won me over. Eventually, over the time we've worked together at UPS, I came to consider her my only friend. Above Alex. And Alex knows this, and Alex hates it. But it's not my fault she didn't value my friendship when she had it. It's not my fault Juan and Aaron didn't either. (Well, to be fair, Aaron wasn't ever really a friend, but he was getting close.) And so she began doing what she always does when she wants something I've got: she corrupts it. And she's been corrupting Zamira against me. At first, I was confused, then hurt. When Zamira started going along with it and turning her back on me, prefering Alex's comany over mine... well, that stung. It hurt like crazy, because of all people, I never expected Zamira to fall for that sort of cheap scheme. But she has been, and she's been pulling away. And I'm not one to beg after anyone, didn't I just say? So now I'm not pulling away from her, I'm doing something worse. Something I've discovered over time irritates the fuck outta people more than any damn furious insult: I'm letting her pull away. I'm not trying to stop her, I'm not even caring anymore. She noticed it today and approached me timidly, asking me about my old man. I was polite, but formal, and very business-like. I'm all business with her now. She's no longer my friend. Trust me, the speed at which I can drop a person from my life is astounding. I'm notorious for it; it's where people get that I'm an asshole. (Which I am, of course.) Zamira was stunned and hurt, I could tell, and I wasn't the slightest bit sorry. I wasn't happy about it either, but I wasn't sorry. It's just the way things played out, and the way things are going to have to be.

So I'm friendless at the warehouse. Again. I don't even have the guys from Customer Counter to distract me. Damn, I miss 'Nando. He and I got along great. I hope things are going good for the guy.