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O.O;

06 January 2006 - 02:12

I know I'm being paranoid, but fuck off, it's my first time doing this.

I have officially started paying bills online. I am scared as fuck. I made a cell phone payment, and I even ventured to order weapons online from the cyber version of the catalog I usually order from. I am scared shitless of fraud! I guess it's a lingering effect after working in Collections and the Fraud Department for almost a year. I sit here with bated breath, waiting for the world - my world, to end, as all I know of my financial freedom comes crashing down around me due to some hacker stealing all my money, gaining access to my checking account and... gah! I'll never sleep again!

Dud has been bugging my to do this for a while already. I don't know how she can manage all her shit online with no remorse or worry. God. My mouth is dry, I swear. I don't even have a credit card, that says it all. My trusty debit card serves all functions for me. And now this. It started when I signed up for Direct Deposit at the UPSers website. Ah, that freedom tasted so good! No more having to stop by the office every night to pick up a check. No more having to worry about the pesky paper thing, about losing it, or waking up early on Saturdays to go deposit it in the bank and then wait for my account to get updated. The wonders of electronic deposit was wonderful! All of a sudden - POOF! It's there. Lookit my pretty rising balance. And so, naturally, I had to get registered online with my bank, as to keep a closer eye on my money. And then the luring bank teased me with free online bill pay. The cell phone bill came in. I thought of wrestling the traffic to get to the only payment store in the city... and then, tentalizingly, the computer monitor called again, softly. I was scared, but trusted my bank enough to send the damn payment electronically. After all, my sister deals with all her bills this way, and everything's worked fine for her and her husband up until now, right? But then - oh, but then! I got my monthly weapon catalog. Oh, all the knives, the swords, the HOLY HOT HELL IS THAT A NAGINATA?! On sale? Until the 10th only? That's my birthday present, dammit! I NEED that baby! *drools* But there's no way I'd get it at sale price (down to $9.99 from $39.99) if I sent out the order by mail. The catalog offers two other methods: order by phone, or online. And if there's one thing I fear more than cyber-shopping, it's telemarketing. More cases of fraud occur over the phone than over the computer, believe me. (That's just another thing that stayed with me from my dreaded job at Penncro.) I peeked at the online version of the catalog and double-, triple-, quadruple-, and megatrilliontuple-checked their payment system. Was it safe enough? Could I trust them with my precious debit card number?! It took me all this week to make the decision and give it a try. I made a relatively small purchase (under fifty bucks) and now here I sit, with my thumbs up my ass, fearing that I've made my juicy bank account available to all the cyber-sharks out there. Shit.

I'll never sleep again.

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