On another topic, I've had the strangest urge these past few days to read this particular story I'd started writing a few years back. Might've mentioned it on this thing before; it was a pretty big deal to me at the time... wanted to get serious and write a book, so I sat down and put a few chapters down. I had a daily quota and a writing schedule and everything. Got up to chapter 5 and then my damn computer broke down, sent all my plans to shit. As of today, I have yet to fix the piece of shit PC. But anyway, I digress. Reading through the accumulated chapters made me nostalgic. It also made me realize I'm not that bad a fantasy writer. Which makes it that much more pathetic that I have no conviction to see my project through. I tell myself I need a new laptop so I can get things crankin' again, but truth be told, I have yet to carry out anything through (that really mattered) in my adult life. Not even college. It's so much easier and convenient to just give up halfway, half-assed. Seriously, I disgust myself at times (a lot of times). But I'm not here to berate myself. Just shrug it off and keep moving. So I'm a lazy procrastinating sloth-ball. Meh, deal with it, bitches. Right now I'm just kinda torn as to what to do next. I really wanna finish this story, if anything so I can know where the fuck the main character (Alenok) ends up. This is a guy I've stuck with for over a decade now; he deserves a finished tale, publication be damned. This story's for me. Just like Xenith is for the kids. Which, by the way, is probably the only project I haven't completely given up on, though I am falling behind on that, too. And I plan to stick with Xen all the way, even if I do take up writing Al's story again. Xen is, I dunno, my teacher. I know it sounds dumb, but creating his world in comic book form has really helped me this past year. I can let go of the little things easier, and just keep pushing on, errors and all. He helps me get things on paper, frees me of my insecurities so I can sit back and create, which is actually really hard for me to do.