I wanted some.

Ruben said these packages are the reason the previous ODC team at UPS got terminated. You know, the ones before us. He said these drug packages will always filter in through our systems and there's nothing we can do about it. Just ship the package off, let Customs deal with it. Which they do, believe me. He said it's especially common here because we're right next door to Mexico. The point is, we as UPS employees are not allowed to open packages to verify what's inside. The best thing is to just ship it on and let the proper authorities deal with it.

Unless we have a motive of suspicion. Which Ruben didn't have, but the driver that dropped off the package did.

"Hey, man, check this package out," I heard the man say to Ruben. "There's something wrong about it."
"What is it?"
"Something's wrong about that account number on the label."
I was busy working the belt, so I didn't get to catch all of what the driver was saying. Something about no information showing up on the scanner when he scanned the tracking label. Then he tried to call the company to see what was up and got the operator saying it was an invalid number, or disconnected, or something. That, and it was very bouncy. I peered over at the large box from where I stood and noticed it was a Cannon box. Hmm... with a UPS account number and they're using a photo company box? The driver was right. Very fishy.

See, Ruben had already given me and Aaron the run-down about illegal packages. Few days back, last week, I believe, we got another one, only much smaller. Less than 10 pounds, I think it was. That one came in a box from Staples. At the time, Aaron and I didn't know jack shit about drug packages. I mean, we knew they came through our system; like I mentioned, that's what the previous team got fired for. Well, that, and they got arrested. By the FBI. See, after working at UPS all those years, they knew a drug package when they saw it. But instead of shipping it off and letting Customes deal with it later on, or stopping the package and reporting it, they re-routed them instead, to a local address, like a cousin's house or something. Then they would make a profit of it. And of course, the shipper wasn't about to report a Service Failure or make a fuss about it, because they didn't want the attention. Half the time, there was fraud involved in it too, because they created the UPS account with either a fake credit card or a stolen one. But eventually, the group got caught. They all got rounded up and fired, and arrested. From what Alb�n tells me, the FBI was there, and the FDA. That's the same day Aaron and I officially started working in the ODC area. At the time, of course, we had no clue about what was going on, and we certainly didn't know we were there to replace those crooks. (Holy guacamole chips, Batman!)

The point is, that's the reason why, when we got that package last week, we didn't know what to do with it. Initially, Zalmira put the package on Hold, because it was going to Puerto Rico and it didn't have the necessary paperwork to go through Customs. We were planning on getting ahold of the customer and shipping it out the next day. You know, to avoid Service Failures. Then Ruben came by later that night to see how we were doing and got suspicious about the package. He asked me for my blade and sliced that bitch open. To our utter shock and his total smug satisfaction, his suspicions were confirmed. Five pounds of cocaine. Or weed. Or something. It was definately illegal, and very much definately drugs. I could tell by the seran-wrap wrapping. Just like in the movies, really. Then Ruben proceeded to explain the 'rules' of spotting a drug package. (Or any illegal package, for that matter.) He also explained why he got suspicious in the first place.

1) When he saw the package, he noticed the label had a computer-generated account number. So it was a valid UPS account. See, there are companies that ship with UPS, which, handling international packages, it's what we usually deal with. When a civilian (person) ships a package, they fill out a form by hand, because chances are, unless they ship often to faraway relatives or something, they're never going to ship something internationally ever again. At least, not anytime soon. A computer-generated number means the person works for a company that ships regularly with us. Which brings me to my point: companies are in for the business (duh). They're trained in international shipping regulations, Customs and all that. So why, if they know better, would they send out a package without the proper paperwork?
2) The box. As I mentioned before, it was a Staples box. This goes back to the whole UPS account thing. UPS is a franchise. When a company ships with UPS, we provide everything they'll need to ship their shit. That covers everything from plastic pouches for the paperwork, to the shipping labels, to the computer software (ha, didn't think there'd be tech-stuff involved in shipping, did ya?), to... that's right, boxes. We provide everything. So, if they have UPS boxes, why send out their precious package in a Staples box? If they run out of boxes, they can just order more. Unless we can't deliver the boxes because the location dictated on the account is fake. Hm.
3) "It's bouncy," Ruben said. I stared at him blankly. Aaron did the same. "Let me explain," he said, and he did. Most companies ship en masse. They're in a rush, they've got deadlines to meet. They ship with UPS, so they're covered by the damn warranty. If it breaks, we pay for it. Simple. So they're not too careful about packaging. You should see the amount of boxes we have split open because of lack of tape (which we provide also, by the way). Most boxes you can hold up and shake and you'll hear whatever's inside rattling in there. I swear, they don't even bother with bubble-wrap. (God, is this getting boring yet? I feel like I've been typing too long.) This box was very well wrapped. All nice and neat. Not even a nicked corner or something. It was light, less than 10 pounds, but nothing rattled when you shook it. Which means that most of those 10 pounds was cushioning for the actual package. That's why the boxes bounce so much. From all the foam and bubble-wrap inside. It's like filling it up with air.

So Ruben took my knife and sliced open the box. Viola! Inside, there were lots of those little foam-worms and another box! A box inside a box? That's right, and it was a Staples box too. Again. So Ruben sliced that bitch open... and lo and behold! Drug bundle. I was very shocked. So was Aaron, by his wide-eyed stare and slightly open mouth.

In the end, everyone in the facility made a big fuss and even cracked some jokes about it. Everyone said they wanted some. John even said he went up to the box and smelled it to determine what it was. He said it smelled good, but I know he was only kidding. That box got locked up the instant Ruben got his paws on it.

And today we got another one, only much bigger. 40 pounds! Ok, I'm repeating myself, but that's how shocked I was. I mean, I've never seen that in the movies! The damn box was almost up to my hip! Wow. Again, Ruben took my knife and sliced it open. This one wasn't so cleverly disguised, though it was heavily padded with slices of foam. More people cracked jokes. Even more wanted some. Oh well. I'm done. I just thought it was pretty cool.