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guard dog 06 September 2007 - 01:05 I'm not sure what it is exactly about me that scares people away. Personality fluke, I guess. I should just come out and say it: I'm an asshole. A complete and total little bitch. A dick. You get the point. And like a snarling dog, I mark my turf and warn people away, with much lip lifting and growling and piss-marking and whatnot. Then, when everyone finally does leave, I'm left standing, bewildered, chained to my tree and wondering why I'm so alone. *laugh* God, I... *shakes head in disbelief* Shit, I can't even describe the feeling. But it does make me laugh. Look at the predicament I'm in. And I'm too proud or stubborn to change it. Perhaps it's because I haven't been neutered yet.There is an exception. Like a toddler battling through the stage of insecurity, only my mother is allowed beyond the invisible barrier into my world. God, it's sickening, even to me. (What the fuck am I, a momma's boy?!) I won't even let my sister get close to me. Hell no, fuck that bitch. (I don't really mean that. Well, not all of me does.) My mind is just so fragmented at times, and I know it's the multiplicity shit, it comes with the headeaches and nightmares and metahuman powers - right, Crazy Jane? I'm at the end of my chain, I swear I need to break free. Break free from all this shit and just go away... away into myself. No one will ever find me there. |