It's the last one that's got me thinking, though. Because it reminded me of my brother in law. It's about his friends. If they're all single, and like to go out on "guys only" outings, this article says to watch out. And of course most of my brother-in-law's friends are single! Of course they go out on weekends - it's what has my sister pissed off at him in the first place. It's why they split up in the first place. He never wanted to include my sister in these outings. He never wanted to take his son. (Still doesn't.) In other words, he's still acting like a bachelor, at least in some respects.

The article also says that a guy's buddies won't always side up with the girlfriend or spouse. In fact, they seldom do. And I agree with that. Because I still remember the conversations I used to have with all my chums back in high school, and the one that stands out most clearly in my mind at this point is Shaggy. His girlfriend, Judy, was so in love with the guy. She wanted to marry him. Shit you not. I mean, he was just such a gentleman! He was courteous and cared for her, and always took her out to nice places... yeah. Thing is, after these oh-so romantic dates, he'd come back to his buddies and tell us all about how he fucked her doggy-style in his dad's truck, and that they made the car shake and he made her beg, and that, oh, her cousin is so hot, he'd tap that ass any time. And what would we do? Would we stare at him in dismayed shock and chastize him for speaking about his lovely girl in such a way? Hell no, dawg! You bend that ho over, man, make her squeal! I'm tellin' ya', Shaggy was da man! And he's just one example of many. Don't even get me started on Oscar. Seriously, it's no wonder Ivan's girlfriend hated us. We were all high-school seniors and she was a college student (Ivan liked them a bit older), and she used to explode in total fits when she spotted him close to one of us. She knew what went down. Thing is, Ivan really cared about her. He'd only hang out with us during classes (she'd come see him during lunch and picked him up after school), and he always seemed bummed out because he couldn't spend time with us anymore.

And see, that's the other extreme. She was so afraid (and rightly so) of losing Ivan to us that she prohibited him the right to see us at all. She didn't understand that we knew Ivan well before she ever met him, and that, most importantly, he respected her. Even if she wasn't around, and we teased him about being completely pussy-whipped (and boy did some of the guys ever tease him...!), he never spoke ill of his lady. He'd only smile and shake his head when Shaggy or Garth made fun of him, and he wouldn't succumb to peer pressure of giving up all the details of whatever intimacy they might've had at the time. I swear I never found out if he ever even banged her or not. But her jealous ranting eventually only pushed him away from her. She never tried to get to know us, even though Ivan asked her to several times. And when she flat-out asked him to choose between her and the boys... well, he cried for her. I remember seeing him so down and not being able to stand it. I hated the bitch for bringing him down like this. He was a little boy, huddled on the floor against the wall of the rifle range, crying because he missed her but wouldn't leave his friends.

See the difference? Shaggy never tried to include Judy in with his friends. Why would he? All his buddies were single guys. And he eventually cheated on her (with the hot cousin) and he was a hero to all. He treated Judy like shit when it came time to choose between her and his friends. Ivan, on the other hand, tried to consolidate the two. He wanted us to meet his girl (not that we'd ever want to, but I would've tried, for his sake), to help him put her fears to rest. She's the one that never wanted any contact with us. And I promise you we would've respected her a whole lot more if she had. Maybe we would've gotten to see what it was that was so special about her that made Ivan give her a promise ring and swoon and sigh whenever her name crossed his lips. Maybe, if she'd tried, we wouldn't have been not-so-secretly glad when she left him right before the JROTC Military Ball.