Still not sleeping well since P'fas's death, but I'm doing a bit better. Right now I'm just killing time because I realized Aaron's still in the building, and therefore probably still keying in the total of five shipments he processes in a day. *grunt* Whadda loada crock. Kid really pisses me off certain days.

It's strange, living without my father. I mean, you couldn't say we were close, but of his two offspring, I was the closest to him. He almost trusted me, I believe, and that's a big deal, coming from him. God, I miss him terribly. I don't sleep well because I keep dreaming him, and I feel uneasy. My sister insists that I need therapy or counseling of some sort, but I hesitate to use the services offered by the funeral home in charge of P'fas's arrangements. I just... I don't know. I don't feel right going. I feel inadequate. I tried to explain it to the Dud that it would be almost imposibble for me to explain what I am feeling to any therapist without delving into my and my father's multiplicity. And then what? Dud says they won't care, but I beg to differ. There's a reason we stay in the Closet, so to speak.