08 April 2020 - 23:19Bernie Sanders suspended his presidential campaign today. I don't much feel like updating, but I feel that this is an important moment, not just in history, but in my personal life, specifically. I cried. Not, full-blown, ugly crying, with the boogers and dribble streaming down my contorted face. No, I didn't "cry in Spanish." But a few tears escaped me, and there was a lot of deep breaths that had to be taken to steady my nerves.
I felt angry. Still do. But this is not like 2016, where there was shock and disbelief along with the anger. No, this was a tired, jaded anger. More potent, somehow. Like smoldering embers. My love and admiration for this man does not waver, and instead I am left with a deeply-seeded hatred of the corrupt establishment which has taken over our government. It's owned us, honestly, for decades now. George Carlin was right. I simultaneously feel a step closer to this, the greatest of comics. A true sage, he was, that teller of truths.
There's also... emptiness in here. All is quiet in The Closet. Not a stir, not a bird. Not a rustle, not a peep. How will I ever find sleep? My eyelids droop, but it's not physical exhaustion. It's that damn Rock, that Boulder, that rolled down the damn hill again, and now I've gotta go back down after it, like a dumbass, and start pushing it back up. I don't know if I have the strength left to do it again. I mean, I actually know I do. And I will get it all the way to the summit, eventually. But eventually is too eventual, too gradual, and it sickens me. Doesn't mean I won't get to work with a little vomit in my mouth.