Saturday morning, I tell 'Ama that Dud and Alexis didn't want to go. She calls T�o Juan and lets him know we're not going after all because I worked. Gah, lies suck. Ten minutes later, she humbly slinks into my closet and sits on my bed. She gives me her sad puppy dog eyes and tells me how Juan told her that her two sisters and my father had just driven to Laredo, Tejas to buy stuff to prepare for our arrival. We let them all down so bad...! I groaned. I knew where this was going, so I sent her off to talk to Dud and her husband. Apparantly, her puppy-dog eyes are damn good, because we hit the road that same afternoon. We got to Laredo by nightfall.

First we stopped by my T�a Carmen's house. She's the youngest of my dad's two half-sisters. Everyone greeted us with warm hugs and sad eyes; they had just buried Crus the day before, on Dud's 23rd birthday. Still, it was great in all its bittersweetness; I can't even begin to describe how much I missed these people, my blood. It sucks living so far away from them. We even met relatives from San Luis Potos�. There was a cousin I'd never met before, daughter of my father's youngest brother, who died about two years ago. I might've mentioned his death in this diary, I dunno. Then there were some second aunts I hadn't seen since I was three. There were hugs and hugs and hugs to go around thrice around the world. Still I couldn't cry. Y'know, I still haven't?

Next, we went over to T�a Chela's house, where nearly everyone from my mom's side of the family was waiting. Of course, everyone fussed over the baby. And Angelito is a cute little critter, all smiles and chocolate curls. And suddenly it was as though the baby no longer had just one mexican grandmother, but five or six. Dud was glad for the break but a bit exasperated as her child was passed from arms to anxious arms. Still, the best part of the night was, by all means, my cousins. Gah, my cousins! I'll never be able to express with words how much I love them. They're the main reason I agreed to go in the first place.

From my mom's sister, Julia, I have three cousins: Javier, Gerardo, and Edgar Eduardo. Gera is almost a brother to me; we get along great, and he gives the BEST hugs in the whole damn world. Like he wants to squeeze a bit of your soul out to keep with him always. From my T�a Chela, my mom's other sister (my mom's got a lot of sisters, bear with me), I have two cousins: Juan de Dios and Graciela. Junior, as we call Juan, is 25. Graciela we call Chelina; she's my age, 21. Oh, and Javi is 24, Gera 20 and Edgar is 15. Right. Next!

Mi T�a Yola, my mother's youngest sister, has three kids: Lucila, 15; Cinthia, 12, and Gil, uh... 7? I swear, I'm not even sure of Cindi's age. But they're great kids. Gilio is really close to me; I was the first one he rushed to and he tackled me into a hug, yelling: - �Te extra�e cincuenta y veinte mil veces! -

Yeah... he's barely learning how to count. So I think he's five, actually. Yeah, seven's definately too old.

Later that night, vino mi T�o Sergio, the youngest of my mom's two brothers. He has five kids. Five! Patulequ�a, who's 15 like Lucy; B�lu, who's Cinthia's age, Ari, who's around Gilio's age, Omar, who's three years old, I think, and baby Daniela, who'll be a year old this January. Todos estan cagaditos a mi T�a Paty.

We didn't get to see the rest until the next day, and there were still cousins I didn't get to see that I would've liked to. But at least I got to see my best friend again. Mi primo, Daniel. He and I are the same age, born in '84, like Chelina. But ever since we were kids, Danny and I shared a very strong and special bond, much like the one I share with his brother and my sister. It's almost like all four of us are siblings. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see Ricki, 'cause he was working. But I got to see and hug and smell Daniel again, y con eso me conformo, at least for now. This year though, we didn't bond like we do every time we see each other again. But it was a good thing. See, we didn't have to bond, because we're already as close as we're gonna get. It was that type of thing. I can sit in a room with Danny and not speak for hours, and we'll still be connecting as we chill. His dog got mud all over me, and his cat played with Dud's bushy brown hair. He even made buddies with Alexis, despite the dialect barrier. Having them all around me, it finally began to feel a bit like Christmas.

Con la familia de 'Apa, it was pretty much the same, except most of them are past me here. I'm one of the last ones, if not the last of the cousins from my dad's side of the family that isn't married yet, or doesn't have any kids. Even my younger cousins on 'Apa's side have kids hanging off them. From what mom tells me, I've even got a cousin somewhere that got married at age twelve. *shudder* Kids at thirteen, what a sack a shit. So everyone bonded more with Dud now, because now she's a mom, and knows what they go through. I was content just watching it all, and leaning back against the wall outside and talking to my drunken cousins. I felt like such a kid there, everyone seemed older than me, even Dud (well she is older than me, duh). I got cuddled a lot, and I even made my dad's stepfather cry, because I look so much like my T�a Carmen, my T�o Crus, and therefore, his dead wife, my slut of a grandmother. All in all, it was good, all good.