I never thought I grew up in an unhealthy enviornment, despite the poverty and drug abuse. Growing up, my generation of kids all knew each other, even if we didn't talk to one another. What I mean when I claim "my generation" are kids who were exactly my age. One year older or younger doesn't count. One year older would fall with my sister's group, and I don't care to remember the younger ones. Where I grew up, anyone younger than you was considered a nuciance. Well, my group was: Juan Mata, Criselda Juarez, Laura Perez, Ofelia Moya, Roberto Pe�a, Susana Briones, Leticia, Jaime and myeslf. There are others, but I can't recall their names just now, just blurry hazes of faces. And now the time has gone by, most of us graduated from high school, from what I know, and we've gone our separte ways. But I still remember those days, and on nights like this, I like to remember them all, and I get a bit nostalgic wondering what happened to them all.

Roberto used to live in the apartment complex behind mine. He was a quiet boy with a rather ugly face but a nice smile. I dunno, his goofy grin was lopsided and kinda not part of his face at all. We got along well, though we seldom talked at school. We were neighbors, after all. The last I heard of him, he had moved back to Mexico with his family. I'd never really put a lot of importance to the fact that they were here illegally. I never heard of him since I was about 14.

Juan Mata was the nephew of a teacher. I knew his aunt, Mrs. Claflin, who used to teach fifth grade at my old school before I moved to La Alvarez turf, and I also knew his cousin, Jennifer. He and Roberto were best friends growing up, but I never liked him much. He came from a good family, so to speak, and was rather arrogant. I don't know what the hell his family was doing in the projects, other than the fact that they were lazy and liked to take life in easy strides. Juan joined the football team in junior high and high school, and I guess he was quite good at it. He was never a shining star in the sport, but he hung out with all the jocks. Never, never liked the guy. I don't think he liked me much either.

Cris Juarez was my best friend in that place. When we were together, people called us "Cris-Cross" though I'm not quite sure why. She lived across the street from me and we used to play freeze tag with my sister and her little sister, Idalia. Cris always won, because she had such beautiful long legs. She was in the track team and the vollyball team. I used to think she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen whenever I saw her run, her long white legs cutting smoothly though the air as if she could fly, her short dirty-blonde hair wisping all around her cheeks. She moved away also, to a more decent part of town, and although we still saw each other occasionally, we lost touch in high school. The last time I talked to her in earnest was right before high school graduation, and she told me how she had gone into the modeling scene. She worked for an agency in San Antonio; she traveled there almost every weekend for shoots. Go figure. Had to be those legs, man. I still have a stuffed toy penguin she gave to me when we were eleven; her mother thought we were too old to play with plushies anymore, and threw all of Cris's precious toys out. How she cried! The Penguin, named Richard, was all she managed to salvage from her Dudes, as she called her toys. He had been a gift from her brother, who was in the Marines. She hardly ever got to see him, and that penguin meant a lot to her. I was honored to take Richard and make him a part of my Guys, as I called my group of toys. I have most of my Guys still, I'm not ashamed to say, and Richard resides with them still. I don't think I'd ever have the heart to get rid of him. From Cris I also got my very FIRST ninja turtle action figure. It's a Donatello in a trench coat. He's so awesome. My collection has grown, of course, but that Donny still holds his Place of Honor. He's my most valuable TMNT action figure, even though the paint is peeling on him in places and he's got no weapons. I miss Cris now and then, especially on nights like this. I'll always love her, I believe, even if I never see her again.

Laura lived about five houses down from Cris. She's so crazy. I saw her tonight, which is what brought on this whole nostalgic crisis. She's actually one of the few I still keep in contact with after all these years. Scratch that -- she's the only one I continue to keep in touch with from the barrio. I knew her and her family since her little brother, Ramon, was in diapers, and her youngest sister, Daniela, wasn't even born yet. Now Ramonsito's 13! He's taller than I am, and he's a little skater kid. Laura and I were never really close, but our mothers are, which is why we still keep in touch. I know her entire family; they're the ones that gave me Micheal Peter, my beloved lost cat, the late Jiquiro's father and Raccoon's older brother. They don't live in the projects either anymore, but they barely moved away from there less than a year ago. It was a very bittersweet experience for them, as it was for us when we left. So many memories, and yet we knew we were leaving nothing but shit and filth behind. Marta, Laura's mom, invited my mom and I to dinner tonight, and we just got back a while ago. Marta is the sweetest woman, I love her very much. Gah, I love all of them, even Ramon and Daniela, though they were tiny ghosts in my life as I grew up. Didn't I say the kiddos were annoying?

I know nothing of Ofelia, except I think she got married a few years back. She and her brother, Xavier, had a terrible childhood, and an even worse mother. They lived a few houses down further from Laura, and Xavier was actually quite fond of my sister. He was a freak who dyed his hair and had piercings and a pet tarantuala. When I was in junior high I didn't like him much, for he was a drug addict in high school at the time, and I am sure he had a crush on my sister. I've always been overly protective of Dud, and I didn't like him and his stupid Magic Trading Card Games he used to show my sister how to play. They used to sit together in some dark bench of the park, heads close together sitting next to each other. It never occured to me that Dud might have liked him too, and that it annoyed her when Ofelia and I interrupted on a jealous whim of mine. He married early too, from what I know. I'm not sure either one finished high school; I don't remember seeing Ofelia at graduation. We used to be pretty good friends in elementry and junior high, but like with Cris, we drifted apart in high school. Ofelia became a chol�a, shaving off her eyebrows and painting them back on in weird shapes. There's the rumor she actually joined "La Alvarez," but I'm not sure that was true. I don't think Xavier would've allowed it. Although I do know she started smoking pot like her brother: he taught her how to, after all. The last time I saw her, she was driving a black Cavalier with hot pink accents on the door. It made me sad for some reason.

I was never Susana's friend. I didn't hate her, we were just never interested in each other's company. She, like the rest of the Briones sisters, became notorious for being whores. They all ended up pregnant and were either married off to the first dumbfuck who'd claim the kid was theirs or became single slutty mothers. They live in the projects still, leaching off of the government, just like their parents taught them to. It's sad, for all I remember of Susana was her desire to study abroad and her quick mind. Guess her legs were quicker to open though. She's got at least one son.

Jaime, Jaime... Moreno? I think that was his last name. He was a plump, dark boy with a round face and a permanent smile. That guy was always laughing and smiling; I don't think I ever saw him angry or upset. Well, except for that time his grandmother died, then I saw him cry by a papaya tree in his back yard, and it creeped the shit outta me. We both pretended it never happened. I don't think he lives in the projects anymore, and the last time I saw him, he was smiling at me. He always recognized me when he saw me, way before I even spotted him. He would laugh and shout and wave, and walk over and pump my hand enthusiastically with that ever-present grin. I hope all is well with him.

Leticia's last name won't stick with me either, although I think it was... Martinez? Nah, I can't remember now. Come to think of it, didn't it start with an "O"? Gah! Well, she was the butch female bully when I was growing up. She was bigger, taller, fatter, and heavier than any other chic around, with curly black hair and piercing eyes. I hated her ass. She was a close friend of Laura's though. Didn't I mention Laura was crazy? Proves my damn point. Leti was a total bitch, my 'Ama always said not to keep friendship with her. Not that she had to tell me, I hated her. Fat bitch. Laura tells me Leti still lives in the projects, her boyfriend dumped her or something. I'm surprised she ever even had a boyfriend, guy must've been blind. She was ugly to boot her nasty personality. She did that thing Ofelia got into, where she shaved off her eyebrows and drew them in as a fuckin' triangle or something. She and Laura got into a huge fight less than a year ago, and they don't talk to each other anymore. I can tell it hurts Laura, for although she's a crazy girl, she really did care about that fat bitch. She, Ofelia, and Leti were best bitches for most of high school, and even since before. In fact, Ofelia stopped hanging out with the likes of Cris to hang out with those two.