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nothing but a sick, sick bastard 14 February 2005 - 22:45 i feel slightly dizzy. i can't ignore the pain on my arm and i don't even try. my sister freaked, the first time i told her i cut myself when i'm disgusted with something i do. usually i carve words. the word for today is 'SICK'. you would've thought it'd be something like 'be mine' or 'luv'. y'know, in honor of the stupid day. but i never really liked valentine's day. i don't give a shit what anyone says, milton hershey invented it! the holy roman catholic church ain't got nothing to do with that. i look at my arm now, and i realize mom's gonna see it. big ol' bloody letters runnin' down vertically--they're hard to miss. maybe i can pull off one of those 'oh-will-you-look-at-that?-i-must've-leaned-on-something' things. it's beautiful, really. hadn't cut myself in quite a while. since i worked at penncro. about six months. wow. and i didn't even flinch! my hand was steady with the razor, even when i had to re-carve the letter because it wasn't bleeding enough. i hope i get a scar. that would be kewl. that way i won't forget. what a sick, sick bastard i can be. |