'Apa and I are going to Mexico this weekend to visit relatives. Andres was in the hospital a few weeks back because of his bad heart. He's out now, but Pifas still wants to go see the old man. And while we're at it, we're gonna go close up a business deal I've got with an uncle. The point is, it's to Mexico for me on Saturday, come back home on Sunday. Until I remembered just now of all times, that I can't remember where in the fuckland I left my damn social security card or my birth certificate. And with security tightening up along the border, I doubt very much my driver's license will do this time. And we're on Thursday, and so I panic.

A few months back I forgot my wallet in an HEB cart (HEB being a local supermarket). I discovered my error a scant fifteen minutes later, whereas I sped back to the store and retrieved it at the lost-and-found. Everything was in place as should be; they didn't even take my money, and I was satisfied. But now I'm thinking the only thing missing back then was my social and dammit why did I have to be so stupid as to carry that shit around and it's been so long since then that I don't know whether I really did have it in my wallet to begin with. I can't ask 'Ama for help (or if she has it) because she'll get worse than I am now and call the cops or something. Plus the house is just such a goddamn mess that I can never be too sure. And then, just a few days ago, I saw a box held in the postcard room with my name on it! And my name's not that common, believe me. Not completely rare either, but the last time I checked, I was the only person with my name registered with the city. Remeber, I used to be a collections agent, I know how to fuckin' look. So how the fuck did they get to order that computer using my name? What if they're the ones that have my social? And what if I never find it and my credit gets ruined? And what if I can never go to Mexico ever again because as I type this some wetback motherfucker (hey, I'm Mexican, I can defile my own culture) is using my information to lead a double-life here in the States? And what if--