When I met Juan, he was happily married, with four kids. My mother and I met his wife and two of his girls once at a UPS gathering last year. My mom marveled at how attentive he was to his little girls, how he played with them all day, sat them on his lap, how much they cuddled him and took his hand to go anywhere. 'Ama said that was rare to see in a man, at least in our culture. His wife, Lori, seemed quiet almost to the point of hostility. Nacho told me later on to excuse her please, it was just that she was an insanely jealous woman, and hated it whenever she and Juan had to go out, for fear of the attention he'd get from other women. I thought, of course, that this was ridiculous. I mean, we're all coworkers there. But then again, you run into women there like Denise, who's positively a slut and half (again, another story), so I told Nacho not to worry, I understood. So that was that.

Then Nacho started having problems in his marriage. At first, I didn't take him seriously when he spoke of separation and later divorce, because he was always complaining about Lorena's antics (such as getting drunk and making scenes at parties, or her jealous rampaging or not wanting to cook for him), but he always went back to her at the end of the night, willing to forgive and forget and try it all one more time, if anything, for the sake of the kids.

Still, a person can only take so much, and when Nacho began to suspect that his wife was cheating on him, he said enough was enough. Thus, a few months ago, the divorce began.

Juan's changed a shitload since then. He lost over 70 pounds, his hair is getting tinted with silver, and the guy's not even 30 yet. He was diagnosed with diabetes, and he nearly passed out on me once at work. I had to catch him to keep him from hitting the floor. This shit has hit him hard, mostly because of his little girl. See, until Juan started his legal separation process, I always thought that all four of Lorena's kids were his: the two older boys and then the two girls. But it turns out that no, only the two year old baby is his. The other three are from Lorena's previous marriage. Now, Nacho loves all four of the kids, and Lorena knows this, so she won't let him see any of the older three, even though they ask for him all the time because he's been the only father figure they've ever known. And he misses them, I've seen him moping for them, and he's even snuck a few calls to them from work when he knows Lorena's not there, like a few months back, on Sammy's birthday. He couldn't even get her a damn present, and I know that killed him. All he ever did was talk about the kids when he was married, and all he ever does now is talk about Victoria, his little girl.

The thing is, he's been uncovering some pretty disturbing shit since the divorce, and is thus fighting for full custody of his little girl. He said that if he can, he'll legally adopt the other three as well, but he's not getting his hopes up.

Nacho has recordings, from a tape recorder he hid around his house when he began to suspect Lori of cheating, and now that he's cleaning up those tapes, he's found some pretty nasty shit of the stuff that used to go around the house when he wasn't there. Like the fact that Lori, and even JC, the eldest boy, 14, used to beat Victoria for no reason. Nacho worries about JC, because he described him as a boy with a lot of anger inside. He hates his mother, and his real father, and refuses to trust Nacho or any of his siblings. He blatantly cusses out his mother, calling her a whore and a slut, and Nacho recalls trying to step in once, and JC telling him to keep out of it, because it didn't pertain to him. Then Juan started noticing signs of physical abuse on his little girl during the weekend visits. Victoria began complaining, grabbing her arms, her stomach or legs while whimpering, "Daddy, hurts!" She also showed signs of being unkempt: there was dirt caked behind her ears, around her neck, elbows and knees. She even got lice.

Nacho took her to the hospital this Sunday.

I feel so defeated right now. I feel like I just had to put all this shit down or I was gonna explode. I don't know exactly why I care so much about what happens to Victoria, but I do. I feel very strongly bonded to this little girl, and I've only met her once. Maybe I get so worked up because I have �ngel now, and if anything were to happen to him, I know I'd lose it. That's because he's just my nephew; I can't even begin to imagine what a parent would feel like. I feel like collapsing everytime I think about what Juan is going through, and even though I tell the guy to keep his chin up no matter what, to keep strong and keep fighting for his baby... I don't know how the fuck he can take my advice. I don't know how he does it. I don't know why he doesn't just go over and kill the bastard that molested his little baby and torture that bitch of a wife s-l-o-w-l-y for allowing such a thing to happen. For being such a whore and bringing shit like that upon her own children.

Because that's what the doctors told him, see, when he went and took Victoria to the hospital. Someone has sexually molested her. There has been no penetration yet, but the damage is there.

And when he told me this last night, I wanted to die inside. I wanted to cry. So I did, after he left and no one was looking.

I just... I can't... can't do anything for her and I want to do something, anything. I feel useless, deflated and defeated, as if this were something that were happening to me instead of her. I honestly don't know why I get like this.

Nacho's going to court in less than two weeks. I pray he gets custody then, when all this shit comes out, and I hope they take Lori's kids from her and put them in some kind of foster care, even if Nacho can't take them. Chances are, what happened to Victoria, happened to them, too. And my shoulders sag.

But I can do nothing, except offer Juan my friendship.