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I'm typing this while I wait for 'Ama to get ready 21 February 2009 - 12:45 Well, Knightmare's survived his first phase of hospitalization and treatment. I was called yesterday while at work and told I could go pick him up. I explained that I was working, and asked that they keep him overnight. I don't mind the extra fees; I mean, c'mon, my wallet's already been raped. And I honestly, I felt safer knowing he was at the vet's, surrounded by the staff, instead of alone at home with no supervision. I haven't gone to pick him up yet. All this week's stress has finally caught up with me and 'Ama. We both slept in and woke up feeling weak and sore. I'm worried about her sugar levels, but she tells me she's fine for now, and that she'll make an appointment for the doctor's on Monday. She hasn't really been telling me anything regarding the dogs, but I know it's affecting her too. When the vet's called telling me the bad news about Knightmare, we were at Lowe's, and we had to walk over to the lawn and garden section so she could sit down for a while - she looked yellowish and she claimed to feel dizzy and have blurred vision. She hasn't cried over Midnight dying, but when we took in Knightmare to the vet's, she kept patting his big ol' head, and believe me: that is something she never does. She claims to be afraid of the dogs because they're so big. When we got home, she took the last of her diabetes medication. We've been meaning to go to Mexico so she can stock up, but with with all that's been happening with the cars, and now the dogs, we haven't had a chance. We just finished cleaning and fumigating the dining room so we can have Knightmare in there when we go pick him up in a while. We're also moving Shai and Mu�eca inside until we can control the flea infestation in the yard outside.I have never seen so many fuckin' fleas in my life. It's crazy! I don't even know where they came from. It wasn't from Midnight dying, trust me. Our yard was flea-free one day, and then the next day - whoom! I went out to feed my dogs and they were crawling all up my damn legs, getting under my pants and stuff. That's when we sprayed the yard for fleas and Midnight died a day later. Part of me feels guilty because I think maybe we accidently poisoned him by spraying his area. Knightmare was trying to eat dirt, and I read that's caused by anemia in dogs. If Midnight was feeling anemic too, and ate contaminated dirt... well, it's too late to feel sorry now. He's gone, and I can't kick myself in the balls for it. I need to focus on my baby, on Albtraum, who I still have left but is in great need of me now. I can't let Knightmare die. Not without a fight. I think he'd ask for a fair chance at life, if he could. I also still have my other dogs and my cats, and even the damn turtles (though they're the Dud's). I'm not gonna let a bunch of fuckin' pests ruin the lives of those I'm responsible for. I'd rather burn down the whole fuckin' yard. |