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11 October 2019 - 13:27

Slowly getting used to the new routine at work. Home life, not so much. Junk keeps piling up all around me; I can't keep living in this mess, but can't seem to break out of the messy cycle. Right now, I sit at my old computer station, waiting for work. I don't think there'll be any. By all means, I should leave my area and look to see how I can help my coworkers elsewhere. Still, I won't. Not for a bit, anyway. My bones hurt, and a part of me wants to be a lazy fuck for once. And I do have one HAZMAT package I need to reject on the system. I just felt like updating this thing instead.

*sigh* So much shit has happened since June. I won't even begin to try and list all the changes. Both at work and at home. Suffice to say that I'm yucking along (what the fuck does that even mean?), taking things in stride as best I can. Not all changes are bad. They're just... different. And I'm a Capricorn. I don't do well with "different." It's hard for me to embrace change. But, hey, at least I try!

I really wish I could just get away from everything for a while; live a new life. Oftentimes, people believe that money will solve their problems. I want to believe that, too. I should play the lottery, wouldn't it be great if I won, things would be so much better if only I could throw money at my problems. But I know better than that. Money will only amplify what's already there, the rot that's inside my soul won't dissipate if I'm rich. Having money won't make me less lazy, less of a procrastinator, less of an indecisive bum. Things would remain the same, except now I'd be a rich hoarder instead of a poor one. I need to change what's inside me; give myself the driving force I need to change my life. But again, I am bad with change. I prefer to wallow in my waste and be miserable. Woe is me and shit.

Well, my boss just called to check up on me. Better get to actually working. Not that there's anything to do.

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