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in the wee hours

25 February 2006 - 03:19

I feel very much like a disinflated balloon. Work ended for me only an hour ago, and I am tired as fuck.

I change the music on my computer from R.E.M. to Godsmack and surprisingly, it livens me somewhat. I am still tired, but it feels good, whereas a few minutes ago I wanted to pass out and my hands were shaking. Amazing the effect music has over the human mind, no?

I need to get up in less than five hours to go pick up Mar�a. She might move in with us afterall. Part of me thinks it's a good thing, a really good thing, to have her move in here, but a part of me loathes the very thought. I mean, I'm just so used to living alone in this house with 'Ama; I'd hate to have anyone or anything disrupt that. Me walkin' around the house naked when there's no one around, except for the chihuahua, farting and bleching whenever I please, sleeping wherever I feel like it... just having this entire space for me... *sigh* I really don't want a repetition of Rocksee's stay here. But I know Mar�a, and I know things will be different. She is, after all, used to being alone most of the time herself. That's why she's so reluctant to leave her parents' apartment, I think, because that's her space, with her rules, and she knows how she runs her shit there. With us, it'd be starting over all over again. And I do love her and all, but I'm not sure any of us are ready to live with each other on a daily basis yet. It's kinda like getting married. But maybe I'm just being an ass.

As usual.

"I'm doing the best that I can, go away!"

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