Today promises to be another crappy-ass day in the neighborhood, but I just read an email my cousin had sent me a couple of days ago (barely had time) and it was basically a little chain forward about choices you make in your life, and how I can choose to be pissy or always positive. I'm trying to be happy here, but it's just so against my nature. And I know I'm just begging for trouble by getting on this thing here at work, and maybe I'm just looking to get fired. Y'know, without really knowing it. I really hate my job, and I keep surprising myself by how often I say it, or write it down, or type it in this thing. It's an everyday thing. Thing is, once I sit down and analyze the whole situation, I realize I'm just pissy for no reason. The job itself is not so bad. There are guys here who make less than I do, work more, and see their families less. (Not a lot of them, mind you. I'm an effin' workaholic.) I also took this little test thing that came with it that describes my personality more in depth. It says I value my carreer more than my family in life. That I value work more than anything, really. *shruggs* I guess it's true. But it sucks to find out. I tell myself I work my ass off this hard to provide for my family, so they'll be happy, but it's a fuckin' lie, I know it. I work because I like to. I work here because I like missing my family, wishing I were at home instead of here, like the O.T. payrate, like being in charge of FDC, like knowing more than anyone else. I'm just an overall fuckin' prick. I hate my life, but I hate more to change it. Guess it comes with the Capricorn baggage. Sometime I wonder if I'll ever be truly happy, and if I do, what it'll take.