I've started to take my writing a bit more seriously over the past two years. Or at least, trying to, while also continuing to have fun. It's only fanfiction for now, but it's all practice for the real deal. I was going to start an original story this past November but backed out at the last minute. Because I was taking that fanfic too seriously, and wanted to finish the damn story.

Now I did, and got stuck writing another one.

Anyhow, I guess I'm writing here now because I need to get all of my writing angst out of the way. Without further preamble or context, here I spew:

I'm feeling torn as to what to write. A part of me is itching to continue the Forged Anew series with at least a one-shot addition. Then, of course, I'm smack in the middle of writing out Molly's story, and I left off on a kind-of suspenseful moment in the story that I really wanna move past. Then there are other stories crowding my brain, clamoring for my attention. Holiday Games, The Prettiest Girl (working title), In Regard to Power. There are others, of course, as well as graphic novel ideas. I suppose that exercising my brain and flexing certain neurons by completing two actual novel-length stories has rewired my circuitry. My stories are becoming more linear, and I'm not as sporadic in my imagination as I used to be. Don't get me wrong, I still jump all over my damn timeline, but at least I tend to be sticking to one universe, rather than have all my characters across different fandoms (and my self-made blorbos as well) crashing into each other all the time. I can't recall the last time I had a good, long, full daydream about Xenith Abyz. It's all been Star Wars for over a year now. I wonder how long this hyperfixation will last.

Perhaps I just need to take a step back and read someone else's shit for a change.

Problem is, I don't really want to. So, between trying to enjoy the little free time I have in my day-to-day, as well as the need to continuously edit my own shit, I've been rereading some of my stuff. I feel trapped in my own imaginings, and the stories so far are so damn good (to me, anyway), that it frustrates me that I haven't written down more, because I really want to read what happens next. And yes, I do know what happens next, okay, but knowing and reading are two vastly different experiences, and I want to experience more of the latter. *shrugs* Meh, I don't know what I'll do.

This didn't really seem to help me all that much, but I'm still glad I got all of that down. I hadn't been able to write down more than a paragraph or two of any of my drafts, and in fact, I deleted entire pages of some of them.