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loon to loon

23 November 2012 - 20:24

I think everyone I knew on DiaryLand's gone for good. It makes me a bit sad, but I hope they had a good run here all the same. Maybe I'll go back and read their stuff from the very beginning, reminice. That is not what I wanted to post about anyway.

I've been thinking a lot about Yamil lately, not sure why, and I realized I want him to be a bit more like me. Xenith kinda turned out to be like me (he certainly has some of my flaws), but it kinda grew outta me; it all felt so organic. So far I think he's the only one of my characters that's happened with. Which explains why I like him so much. He's like my miracle child, and he's not even a main character (though now I kinda want him to be). Anyhow, back to Yamil.

He's Xenith's younger brother. One of two, actually; everyone else is older than Xen. Point is, he's insane. Literally: mentally unstable. And in wanting to create an accurate portrayl of insanity, I made it so he's into self-mutilation, and he speaks only in palindromes, usually in passing commentary as some new development occurs around him, but he doesn't quite participate in society. Then the other day I realized I mutter to myself for no apparant reason (other than the fact I'm multiple, of course), and the things I say to myself don't always make sense either. For instance, I often catch myself saying:

"Are you okay?"
"Why do you always ask me that?"

And I'll be annoyed when I answer myself. Or I'll blurt out, "Wow, she's so beautiful," in a whisper, even though there's no one there in the room with me. I swear, sometimes I'll be on the crapper when I carry on like that. So, long story short, I kinda wanna give those phrases to Yamil. At least the one where he asks himself if he's alright. They're not palindromes, but they seem to fit him nonetheless.

We'll see.

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